Communications Technology

Pity that busy monster, gamers-unkind…to Nintendo’s extraordinarily successful pint-sized hexahedral Gamecube-with-motion-control. Who knew the Wii would become the sales darling of the current generation? The Nintendo ditto-heads, sure, but they thought the Virtual Boy would usher in head-mounted gaming long before the Wachowskis were jamming knitting needles upside the backs of pasty-faced heads.

No one got it logically right then, analysts included. We’ve all had our arms twisted round behind our backs since, as the Wii’s stampeded over Sony and Microsoft in worldwide unit sales and put the lie to cries of “gimmick” and “fad.” The numbers tell the story: 53 million units worldwide, against Microsoft’s 32m and Sony’s 24m.

Or do they? If you like the sort of games I do–stuff like BioShock, Fallout 3 (PCW Score: 90%), and Fable 2 (PCW Score: 100%) or wargames like HPS’s Napoleonic Campaigns and SSG’s Decisive Battles series–you’ve probably flicked through Nintendo’s holiday bill with disappointment verging on disdain. This year’s no different. Wii Fit Plus? New Super Mario Bros? That’s it. (Of the nearly 400 total titles queued for release, those were the only two Nintendo saw fit to highlight.) Smart as those two may turn out to be, they’re basically updates to safe and friendly franchises. When a publisher like Electronic Arts does this, it’s the devil. When Nintendo does it? We’re supposed to call it “innovating.”

Now there’s rumor of a price cut for the Wii from $250 to $200, a 20% slice that’d be the first since Nintendo introduced the system three years ago. Nintendo’s been turning a tidy profit on the Wii hardware for some time. By comparison, Microsoft and Sony have had to absorb massive cost-of-manufacturing shortfalls. Developing for the Wii is dramatically simpler and cheaper, too. The result: Developer and publishers flocking to the Wii to grab a piece of the action.

Would a Nintendo price cut be enough to counter recent ones from Sony and Microsoft? Propel the Wii back to comfortable monthly victory margins after dramatic monthly sales drops?

Maybe. If you’re a Wii buff, I can say “I hope so” vicariously and for your sake. But if I’m being honest and openly selfish about it, I hope not. Speaking as a guy who only reaches for his Wii remote these days to play stuff like the Metroid Prime trilogy, Zelda, Mario Galaxy, and World of Goo, I want the kinds of games I like to play (and the systems they’ve hewed to) getting the sort of developer attention they deserve. Games more like Operation Flashpoint: Dragon Rising and Assassin’s Creed 2, and less like Cabela’s Big Game Hunter 2010 or Barbie and The Three Musketeers.

Nintendo’s predicament? Mediocrity fatigue. A manically massive library of depressingly prosaic Wii games. Xbox and PS2 gamers ready to update and finally enticed by Microsoft and Sony’s price drops. Full-kitted cutting-edge media centers that let you stream audio/video from the web, media-laden storage hubs, or external USB hard drives entirely free. Microsoft and Sony’s impressive “casual” entertainment libraries and advanced motion-control interfaces incoming next spring. The arrival of Windows 7 alongside cheap computing kit from Intel, Nvidia, and AMD. And bottom line, a breadth of gaming experiences you just can’t get on the Wii.

Call me antediluvian, call me shortsighted. Sometimes trends are forward-looking. Then again, sometimes they’re not.

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I’m a sucker for simple games that are quick to learn but challenging enough to keep you occupied for hours on end. Such is the case with Parachute Panic by FDG Entertainment.

Your objective in this iPhone and iPod touch game is to safely land the parachutists on passing ships as they fall from planes crossing the top of the screen. You control their descent by swiping your finger in different directions to draw puffs of wind. If someone hasn’t already opened their parachute, tap it to help them with that—earn extra points for giving them a good scare and opening it at the last possible moment.

There are lots of dangers as alien spacecraft, passing helicopters and storms try to prevent you from doing your job. Did I mention the waters are shark-infested? Because they are.

The more parachutists you land, the more points you get. Catch jumping fish for extra points or storks for extra lives, but if you lose five parachutists in the ocean or to any of the other dangers, the game ends.

The gameplay is smooth and the action is frantic but what really gives Parachute Panic character is the hand-drawn graphics. The simple stick-figure animations illustrated on graph paper are reminiscent of doodles I once did in school to stay awake in class. The cute animations and great sound effects and music complete the experience to give you a game that is not only fun to play but fun to watch too.

There are two difficulty modes, and your statistics are tracked for each mode. New to version 1.2 is a global scoreboard to see how you compare to other players. You can create a buddy list, but there is no Facebook integration—a feature popping up in more and more iPhone games.

At just $1, Parachute Panic is a steal, but if you’re want to give it a try, you can download Parachute Panic Lite for free. The lite version lacks difficulty modes, global scoreboard, and statistics of the full version, and the game ends prematurely, but it gives you a good feel for the game.

Parachute Panic is compatible with any iPhone or iPod touch running iPhone 2.2.1 or later.

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