The Loan Phone
Tuesday, May 22nd, 2007
Was talking with a friend late yesterday when it came up in conversation that they had recently lost their cell phone.
Nothing new here.
I wonder what the daily stats are on lost cell phones worldwide?
A few phones ago, I purchased a small SE that was so hard to keep track of, and surprise surprise, not long after I purchased it, the little sucker decided it was time to move on, and slipped out of my pocket into the arms of another.
I was in a taxi cab at the time, and as soon as I realised I was without it, I of course tried to call my own number with a friends cell.
Now with experience on this issue, I can tell you that the first call you make to your lost cell is the only chance you will have to convince the person on the other end of the line to return it.
You get one shot.
Firstly, the call alerts whoever it may be that there actually is a phone there. Often no one will know, that is until you call. It’s a catch 22, you have to call to try, but once you do, and the lucky recipient has your cell in hand, you better have the ‘please return’ speech worked out.
And yes, we know that your listening Mr or Mrs, silent, yet audibly breathing person on the other end of the line. Listen here…
Offer money or sexual favors (what ever you can handle), and try to appeal to the new owners compassionate side.
More often than not, they answer and simply listen to you plead your case in silence.
It must be one of those, I am eating chocolates in my bed in the dark situation for the unknown person with your cell, as they have all the power, and can secretly get away with anonymity, and escape unscathed with the prize.
Now any repeated attempts to call the number either ring out or simply do not ring at all. The cell has been turned off, until the new owner can re-appropriate it’s services.
But getting back to my friend, she lost a company cell, and I was surprised to hear that she was given a ‘Loan Phone’ to use, in the meantime.
Pretty good, and also pretty bad. Loan cars are the ones that have pink door panels and lime green patchwork paint bodies, have been thrashed, and usually smell of… well, smells.
Can you imagine the ‘Loan Phone’?
Pink and lime green, old and probably misused, and well, you do not want to look up studies about the amount of bacteria etc. that builds up on a phone from close contact use. Apparently the plastic bodies are excellent at harbouring nice amounts of these little cretins.
Ok if it’s my bacteria… but well, John, the sales rep, the guy who always eats those greasy hamburgers and still makes calls during lunch… Didn’t he loose a phone last month?
Now for a cell set gadget that ain’t such a bad idea for annoying even more people on the train on the way home from work.